10 Tips to Meet Your Goals This Year!   By Susan K. Wehrley

The start of the New Year brings to most of us the desire to make this next year a better one.  When setting goals, it is important to ask yourself, what benefit do I believe that these goals and outcomes will bring me? For most people, the underlying desire is Peace, Love and Happiness.  When we understand this, and operate from this desire, we are more likely to meet our goals.

When reviewing your goals for the year, whether they are personal and professional, keep the following 10 tips in mind:

1)      Work from your passion and desire, not your "should list".  Develop a personal and professional passion statement to keep you connected to your heart
2) Sort your life out in 7 areas when setting goals: Spiritual, Physical, Emotional, Relational, Vocational, Financial, Recreational.  Make a specific plan for each, including the main priorities and initiatives you will do for each.  Again, this will help you to be conscious of the moment of choice.  When the moment comes up, you will be more conscious of if you want to say yes, no or change your mind
3) Make a priority list every day or week of your top 5 priorities so that you are working on the things that mean most to you, not just the things that are grabbing your attention. That way you are spending most of your time on what is important to you, not just urgent and unimportant.
4) Do not let distractions get in your way, set limits on when you will answer email, return phone calls and have meetings
5) Use visualization as a way to achieve your heart's desire: use a vision board and review it often.  Also think of other methods to remind yourself of what is most important to you
6) When choices do arise, in the moment of choice, ask: Is this what I really want?  Writing out your goals in advance will help you to make more conscious choices. For example, when a friend or potential client asks to meet for coffee, ask yourself, “Is that what I really want to do?”  Perhaps you would rather not meet around coffee or food, especially if one of your goals is losing weight or reducing your blood pressure, for example
7) Remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing. Peel back the reason you are doing something. Play the child-game of why?  Ask why am I doing that...why? why? and what do I ultimately want to get from that?  See how that matches up with your passion statement and goals
8) Pay attention to when you are getting Stuck in the Muck.  This happens when life isn't going as expected and the feeling of anxiety or depression gets triggered. Go one step deeper and ask, "Am I feeling shame, like I am not enough?  Am I feeling powerless, like I cannot change this?  Am I feeling abandoned, like I cannot get the support I want?  Now release that old programming and get into the field of possibilities. Become more open, trusting and allowing by focusing on the question, "How might I deal with this?  What do I need to be open to?"
9) Keep on track. Fill yourself up often with good thoughts and teaching. Make your bathroom and car into a university!  Play motivational tapes, put up your favorite sayings, put your vision board in there. Why not start your day reminding yourself of how to think and what to do to be successful
10) Remember:  It is easy to get caught in living our lives from Fear, Judgment and Control. We try so hard to be safe and secure, to be loved and to belong. What would happen if you just trusted that YOU ARE ENOUGH!  You would be able to operate from a higher level of decision-making and confidence.  You would then feel more fulfilled and effective!

Susan K. Wehrley is an Author of 4 books, an Executive and Personal Coach, and specializes in Organizational Development.  www.solutionsbysusan.com   www.BIZremedies.com   This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it   262-780-1944

I know this is more of a business related site, but it being the holidays, and the holidays being so much about family, i wanted to share a tip on parenting.  I personally really like this one!

I was recently asked a question relating to a teenager having her third car accident, and how a parent might have an influence on guiding the child to better outcomes.  Here's my response: 

    That’s a good question.  You could force her to study safe driving techniques before allowing her to have a car again.  You could scold her and take away her driving privileges altogether.  You could send her to a driving school and make her pay for it.  You could make her pay for any increases in insurance premiums you incur.  Or, you could take her out for ice cream and show her you love her.

    The biggest thing here is not that your daughter learns something, but that you have a tremendous opportunity for growth yourself.  If you handle this well, you will have really lovely memories of this event.

    I believe that she is well aware that she screwed up, that she needs to focus more when driving, and that there are certain costs associated with having accidents.  These concepts are best discussed when she is desiring to and brings it up at a later date.

    I think what she would like to know in this moment more than anything else is that you love her, you accept her, and that she can feel safe in coming to you and sharing with you what is going on in her life, regardless of the intimacy or the embarrassment of it.

    You have a chance to build tremendous trust and love with your daughter in this moment, so go hug her, love her, laugh with her, and take her for ice cream!

                                                            Enjoy, Rick 

The Coming New Year

By: Susan K. Wehrley, with quotes from BIZremedies' Members, Andis Company, Baptista's & Moore Oil

With the coming of the New Year and a whole new decade around the corner, most of us are wondering how to make it a better year financially, emotionally, physically, relationally and spiritually.

The Power of Curiosity helps us to uncover hidden possibilities we otherwise cannot imagine when we are stuck in the static condition of our minds and the preconceived notions we hold regarding the world around us.  During difficult economic times, it’s easy for companies and individuals to have foggy thinking and assume their business and their personal lives should be suffering like most appear to be. However, this thinking is limiting, instead of asking ourselves, “How might I still be prosperous in this recession?” A company who has taken this curious approach who has worked with Organizational Development Consultant, Susan K. Wehrley, is Andis Company. Andis' Executive Vice President, Matt Andis, says "We tend to get mired down in routines and fail to really look at all areas of opportunities.  As we move through our goals and planning stages it is widely encouraged to be curious and ask those tough and maybe taboo questions, questions that we may typically shy away from.  This curious form of "Ask-Leading" has pushed us to a higher level in all aspects of our demanding business." A mere question of “How might I make this a more prosperous year?” or “How might I enjoy life more and still be successful?” or “How might I enjoy more connected relationships?” can bring us ways of thinking we never had before.

 
So if it is so simple, why do we resist being curious?  Being curious leads us to the unknown for a while until we are able to obtain the awareness and information we desire. This mid-way place can be scary, as it requires humility.  We have to believe that we do not know it all if we’re to be open to discovering that which is still foreign to us. For instance Moore Oil Company recognized they didn’t know it all when they had their company take a formal online assessment. COO of Moore Oil, Andrew Haag, says assessments are "beneficial because it's good to get curious about what my employees think about strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats for the company before setting goals. This way input is considered and they have a sense of buy-in to the direction of the company."  Living with a curious mind allows us to realize that the more we know the more we have to learn.  When we live with a curious mind, we no longer feel shame about not knowing certain things or understanding them only with hindsight.  We realize that even though we have reached a certain level of wisdom, we will continue to discover truth and learn more through our life experiences.  Nan Gardetto, Owner of Baptista's Bakery, has recognized the importance of continuous learning and curiosity and says, "I believe curiosity is paramount to being successful.  One way we use curiosity in our annual strategic planning is to get curious and ask our customers what their own goals are for the coming New Year and how our company might help in achieving them.  By being curious, and not assuming we know what our customer needs, we have a better chance of offering up effective solutions and aligning our own goals with the needs of our customers." Therefore, instead of feeling shame about discovering something we did not know, we can say to ourselves, “Of course I didn’t know, I am always curious and learning!”

Apply this technique to all aspects of your life:
1. Relationships—what makes them tick?  What gets them ticked off?
2. Business Strategies—what works?  What doesn’t?
3. Yourself—why do you say you want something but don’t follow-through?
4. What does your heart and soul believe it needs to accomplish this year?
5. How can you let go of mere activity and busyness?

There has been a lot of hype about “The Secret” to reaching our goals and dreams: Is it done through Intention or Strategic Planning and diligence?  Women mostly like to believe that it is through their more feminine energy that they can create: visualizing, intending, intuiting, and surrendering to their Divine.  Men traditionally for years have believed that a good plan and hard work will do the trick.

I would have to say, as an Executive Coach and Trainer, that the balance of both methods is true, in my opinion.  The acronym that puts the two practices together for me is this:

V - Get clear about the VISION of what it is you want in your life, personally and professionally

I - Now exercise your INTENTION in everything you do.  Feel how important this vision is to you and make the commitment to the choices required that are in alignment with what it is you say you want.  Notice when you seem to want something more than what you say you want.  Be curious about that and then ask yourself what that is about for you and what choices you could make that would work for you to get you what it is you say you want.  Be open with yourself and explore possibilities

S – Then, after you have discovered what obstacles get in your way and new possibilities of reaching what it is you say you want, plan out the specific STRATEGIES that work for you to meet your vision

E – Create confidence and EMPOWERMENT in yourself by making the choices that you have contracted with yourself to make.  Notice how when you are in integrity with what you say you want, you will attract more of the opportunities to you. As you honor your own intention, you will stop sabotaging yourself by not recognizing your own inner obstacle of double-minded thinking and then choosing conflict avoidance and conveniently blaming it on something else or someone else.  Instead you will take responsibility to discover what it is you really want and how to get there

I believe in the principle of “what we think about, we bring about” and the enormous power of our minds, however, I also believe that sometimes our mind possesses double-minded thinking, which is the reason we do not get what we say we want.  We may say we want something, but deep down do not want to sacrifice a comfortable behavior to get it. Or perhaps, we truly want what we say we want, but do not believe we deserve it (after all little missy, who do you think you are anyway? J)   That is why, both having INTENTION for what we want and thinking through a do-able STRATEGY is important, in order for us to reach our goals.  Being disciplined in both matters, will help us to be empowered enough to make the choices that are in alignment with our intentions, as they present themselves.

My consulting business, Susan K. Wehrley & Associates, Inc., (www.solutionsbysusan.com ) has been going into businesses for the last 22 years teaching management teams, executives and employees to reach their goals in the most fulfilled and effective ways.  Often, what starts out as a business focus, will end up incorporating other aspects of their lives, because after all we are whole people who have habits and life skill sets (or not) that effect us in both areas of our lives.  My business has primarily been business-to-business to make the Company Strategic Planning more clear within the company and to operationalize it all the way down to each employee so that they understand, in each moment of choice, which decisions would put them in synch with their teammates and the company vision and goals. I have found people who do this in all areas of their life are more apt to carry this behavior out at work, because they understand how to recognize “the elephant in the room” that might be getting in the way of achieving their goals and how to deal with it.

When we hold ourselves accountable to “say what we mean, and mean what we say” we hold an intention of integrity for ourselves.  This also means that we have committed to deal with obstacles as they come up so that we can stay on track.   Living in integrity means that our “yes” means “yes” and our “no” means “no”, even in the face of adversity and challenge.   For some people, this is why they have vague and foggy goals: They would rather avoid conflict than create the life they want.

Do you have foggy thinking? What are you doing to become more intentional this New Year?

Susan K. Wehrley

Business Consultant

Founder/CEO of BIZremedies

262-780-1944

This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

1.  Your attitude is your most valuable asset.   Nourish it with positive ideas, books and loving people who compliment you and look for ways to compliment and support them.
2. Write a list of things you’re thankful for…..  my favorite tool to keep me on track with being positive is the "Miracle Manifestation Journal" technique.  Her pages on appreciation give a whole new meaning to thinking positive thoughts.  She suggests that you not only identify WHAT you appreciate but WHY.   here are some examples:  I truly appreciate MY LIFE  because it is filled with limitless possibilities for me to explore.                           I really appreciate ELECTRICITY because it provides limitless ways for me to be comfortable, creative, and productive. Jacuelyn Aldana provides a full page of powerfully positive new ideas for appreciating your life.   
3. Write down three kind things that were done for you today
4. or  kind things that you did for someone else…..Kindness comes with no strings.Did you hold the door for someone?  Say something nice to the cashier? Let a car merge?
5. Think of a person who has made a positive difference in your life. Who and why? Write a note to them and thank them and tell them how and why they made a difference.
6. Make a list of four things you do well: cooking, cleaning, organizing, story telling, loving
7. Think of a way you could surprise and delight someone you love tomorrow.
8. Write down at least 10 things that you like about yourself. If you like yourself you become immediately more attractive to others.
9. Think of your favorite physical activities as a child—biking, skipping,dancing, monopoly,Uno, Yahtzee..do them again.  Do them with your children.
10. Write down three things that your children have done well lately.  Compliment them, ,preferably in front of your children and others.
11. Think of five qualities that you appreciate or enjoy about your partner.  Write them down and tell that person  what you love about them.  Slip the note under their pillow.

How do you keep your spirits up?     

How do you feel when you compliment others?   Does it lift your spirits?

I invite you to add to this list and share your joy jumping ideas.

Miracles Happen!  and it's about time they happen to YOU!

Therapy is not for crazy people.  Therapy is to stop you from going crazy.  It is for anyone who is struggling with a difficult or painful life issue that is overwhleming them.  It is certainly for people experiencing significant depression or anxiety issues, alcohol or drug abuse problems, anger management problems, trauma issues, school or work performance problems, chronic relationship conflicts, or grief/loss issues.  These are common human experiences that can overwhelm people.  However, therapy is also for anyone who would like to build a positive relationship with themselves, who desires to actualize their potential in any or all areas of life, e.g. therapy is for folks who want to become their best selves. 

We are all imperfect perfect people, raised in an imperfect world.  Because of this fact, we develop negative mental, behavioral, and/or emotional habits which block us from being the people we are truly meant to be.  Psychotherapy can help people dissolve those blocks and achieve the health, life satisfaction and feeling of productivity and purpose we all deserve.    Therapy is a collaborative process where the therapist guides the client to face the psychological wounds or stuck pIaces and then assists them to utilize their strengths and healthy coping skills to heal or transform these blocks.  The therapist doesn’t fix the client, but guides and mentors the client to develop or strengthen skills they can use for the rest of their lives.  It is teamwork.  It is collaboration.  It is healing through relationship.

As humans, we are complex creatures who require health of mind (our thinking/feeling self), body (our physical organic self) and spirit (soul/higher self) to truly thrive.  If we do not understand each of these parts of the self and/or do not know how to care for our mental, physical or spiritual self, then we expereince ‘dis – ease’.   Stress and negative thinking can lead to anxiety, but it can also cause insomnia, ulcers, headaches and a whole host of other physical problems.  Abusing alcohol can lead to depression and a list of physical problems, but can also lead a person to feel spiritually bankrupt—“I don’t know who I am any more”.   The therapist’s job is to teach the client how to take care of all three aspects of self so that they can truly experience total well-being and personal satisfaction.  Therefore, therapy is also for anyone who is struggling with health of body (chronic pain, irritable bowel syndrome, migraines), mind (chronic worrier, chronic indecisiveness, self-critical, perfectionistic) or spirit (loss of faith, feel out of touch with your core values, loss of self-worth).  Therapy is a process of self-discovery, skill building, habit transformation and personal empowerment.

Well if therapy is so wonderful, why do most people avoid it like the plague?  One reason is the sterotype that therapy is for crazy people. You don’t go to therapy unless you are a real mess. Some marketing wise therapists have renamed themselves “life coaches”, to lessen the stigma, but still few people take advantage this empowering process.  Certainly some folks lack the resources (insurance, cash flow) to take advantage of this service.  But I think the biggest reasons are cultural.  We are a society that looks for quick fixes and therapy takes a lot of time and effort.  We are a society that likes to buy instant happiness (the next coolest electornic toy) and therapy is a process of self-discovery that in time can lead to happiness.  We are a culture that keeps ourselves so busy and so connected to electronic devices we are forgetting about the healing component of face to face open, honest communication.  Finally, we are an independent minded people who often believe that we must figure out all our problems on our own, or else consider ourselves weak.   It is funny, that we are ususally willing to assist others who ask us for help, yet is so difficult to ask for help for ourselves.   Instead, we will just look up our problem on the internet, find too much information (some of it conflicting), get overwhelmed and just avoid the whole mess.           

As a psychologist I am well aware that I am biased in favor of therapy for anyone seeking personal growth?  I would love to hear from others why people don’t utilize therapy very often.

Diane C. Garrison, Ph.D.

Lake Country Counseling Services

In today’s economy, with the unemployment rate at nearly 10%, it is important to be a stand out professional. As an employee, consultant or business leader, you will stand out among the rest if you are strategically minded, have the ability to identify a root cause and bring a team together to problem solve root needs and meet the goals.

Being strategically minded means clearly understanding a company’s goals, department goals and the initiatives needed to meet those goals. It also requires the ability to not treat symptoms but the root cause or need that lies beneath the surface of these symptoms. When we treat the problem at this level, we are able to create a positive trickle effect in the most efficient and effective way. Of course none of this analysis would even matter if we weren’t able to get buy in from our team members who are going to implement the goals, the findings and the initiatives that need to happen. This requires a collaborative style of relating that gets people emotionally engaged and passionate about creating results. When looking at this description of a professional, how do you measure up?

In order to become a more professional consultant, here are 5 things you can do:

1) Before moving forward on a project, ask yourself what company goals does this project fit into to add value.

2) Do a root cause/need analysis (Create a mind map naming all the symptoms and then ask yourself what is the common missing piece that would solve these symptoms.)

3) Engage others in the process of naming the symptoms and agreeing on the missing piece or root cause/need; This will be a collaborative process that will get buy in.

4) Clearly chart out what needs to be done: action steps, who will do them, by what date and what is the expected standard.

5) Finally, set a follow up date to benchmark and hold people accountable to the progress.

Whether you are a professional leader of a company, professional consultant, or an employee who wants to be more professional, this 5 step process will help you to be more strategic and therefore create better results in your life. How are you doing in regards to these 5 areas?

In today's economy, companies are lean-sizing and employees seem to be running frantic to get their tasks done, anxiously trying to keep the business or job they have. This can lead us and our employees, to working harder, not necessarily smarter. In my new book release, P.A.U.S.E. Take Control of Your Life, I discuss the value of slowing down long enough to get clear. Clarity helps us to know what to do next. As a business person it is important to P.A.U.S.E. with our senior team to get clear about company goals; to P.A.U.S.E. with our department managers so they are clear on day-to-day opportunities to bring clarity to their team and show them how they can add value to these goals through focused projects and initiatives. Pausing long enough to get clear, so we can be smarter and more efficient in our choice of action, is the antithesis of busyness.

What are you doing to work smarter, not harder? Perhaps for you it begins with pausing long enough to ask yourself the question: "What do I really want to create in my life?" "What is my purpose/personal mission statement?" and "What are the goals and actionable steps to help me get there?" So many times we spend our days in a reactive mode, returning e-mails, phone calls and responding to the requests of others, instead of going deeper with ourselves to find out the answers to these questions.

When we P.A.U.S.E. and take a deeper look at the reasons behind our choices, we often see our fear of success or failure. The fear of success is our limited thinking and belief that if we were to attract the abundance we say we desire, we might not be able to handle it, wouldn't enjoy the responsibility, or would suffer potential consequences we imagine in our mind like losing friends who may envy our success or who cannot relate to it or us anymore.  We fear being lonely and overwhelmed at the top. The fear of failure makes us believe that even if we are clear about our purpose and our mission, we will never be able to obtain it because deep down we believe we are not enough: smart enough, energetic enough, young/old enough, educated enough, resourceful enough, etc. In order to work smart and not hard, we need to P.A.U.S.E. not only to get clear about what we want but to “clear-out” any self-sabotaging belief systems that are keeping us from being calm and confident enough to manifest our dreams.